Menethil Harbor, Level 26

Dear Fremal Doohickey,

I love your village and the salty sea air. I was just speaking with the town drunk, Harlo Barnaby, and he asked me to do him a small favor. (I don’t mind speaking with the drunks once in a while. A little stinky, but fun!) Turns out he’s not the town drunk at all… the man took an axe to the back! I mean a real axe, right to the center of his back! Were you aware of this?! (This may explain why he hasn’t moved much lately.)

He motioned for me to come speak with him. (breath smelled “off”, but not drunk.) He’s been lying there for quite some time. I mean, I’ve been doing favors and running errands for various townsfolk for a few days now, and the whole time he’s just been sprawled out near the town gates. (Almost tripped over him four times, but didn’t. Once it was more of a wobble than a trip.)

As the town physician, I thought you might want to tend to his wound, or perhaps send someone to offer him some refreshing spring water or a flagon of mead. (not a drunk) A linen bandage might do the trick. (Can’t miss him! Slight odor, no alcohol on him though.)

I’m going to do a quick task for him, but thought someone should know that this man is not a drunk! (Possibly a mild narcotic dependency.)

I appreciate your attention to this matter.
R. Pebblebottom

Ironforge, Level 25

Dear Kelstrum Stonebreaker,

Thanks again for teaching me how to execute. I was just executing some mottled dinosaurs earlier and it worked great. They didn’t know what hit ‘em! Also, that new demoralizing shout you showed me is exciting too! (roar! so fierce!)

When do you think you’ll teach me how to yodel? I’ve always enjoyed a good yodel and have wanted to learn how for some time. (People stop and stare at me when I try.) I think it would be beneficial to yodel warnings to other nearby adventurers, like “Theresawendigooverheeereeehoooo!” I could inform a flower picker, “Ijusttrippedoversomebruiseweedeeehoooo!” Or maybe when it get’s bad, “Whereisthebathroomeeehooo!?!” I’m sure you can think of some uses yourself and agree it would be a valuable skill. (Right up there with fishing!)

Just the other day, I saw a hunter using his axe on a few gnolls while his pet bear sat by and watched. I could’ve yodeled “Checkoutaspectoftheharedotneteeehoooo!” Instead I had to whisper, “I’ll tell the repair lady in Menethil you’ll be by shortly.” He didn’t respond, so obviously whispering to one another in the wild isn’t the way to go.

Looking forward to doing some yodeling with you. (yoohoo!)

By Magni’s Beard,
R. Pebblebottom

Wetlands, Level 24

Dear James Halloran,

I’m working on your task, and I have to ask… Where are all the giant crocolisks and how the heck did your apprentice get attacked?

I’ve been running around the north coastline for what seems like an hour, and I’ve only seen two! There’s also a warlock and a hunter running about, but I can’t believe they’ve killed every last one of them. Maybe your apprentice angered the crocs by poaching their young. I imagine a side business selling baby crocs as pets could be quite lucrative. I prefer a loyal, furry companion, but some people enjoy the danger of a pet that may someday rip your face off. (murlocs!)

I bet your apprentice had Westfall chicken meat in his pockets or something, because nothing I do attracts them. I’ve tried taunting them with a little dance and some mild name-calling, but the only things I’ve run into are fen creepers. (a lot!) They sneak up on you and attack from nowhere!

Do giant crocolisks like bunnies? I have one I could use to lure them out, but am not sure if it’s much of a meal, so they may not bother with it.

I’ll guess I’ll try again tomorrow. I’ll bring bacon!

Patiently,
R. Pebblebottom

Deepwater Tavern, Level 22

Dear Inkeeper Helbrek,

Thanks for the flagon of mead. First Mate Fitzsimmons said it really hit the spot. (Have you tried “Hair of the Hare” yet?)

I will require lodging for the remainder of my stay in Wetlands and everyone says your tavern is the best! I travel with a bunny that follows me everywhere, no matter how dangerous or messy things get. (kobolds!) Do you offer special amenities for animal companions? I am not talking about tiny sleeping quarters (ha ha)—an extra pillow will do fine—but a platter of seasonal vegetables delivered by room service would be great. And of course, a separate wake up call will be required.

What is your tavern’s entertainment policy? As you may have guessed, my companion is “Plops, Azeroth’s Slowest Bunny”, and during our stay, we would be delighted to entertain your clientele with a free show in your lounge. (Tips from affluent customers always appreciated.)

This performance is quite a sensation! For twenty-three adorable minutes, Plops will twitch his nose and scratch behind his ear. Cute! He will perform long and short hops, as he remains close beside me. (Some nibbling.) I assure you the act contains nothing inappropriate, no matter what you may have seen from other recent rabbit acts. The entire performance is wholesome, family entertainment. (Some brief nudity and mild language.) On occasion, when visiting the Ironforge mailbox, there has been minor pushing and slight shoving by people wanting to get a look at Plops. I advise additional wait staff just in case.

Please contact me to discuss lighting needs and stage requirements for “Plops, Azeroth’s Slowest Bunny”. I look forward to my stay in Menethil Harbor. Great fishing!

Cordially,
R. Pebblebottom
(and Plops)