Stormwind, Level 38

Dear Angus Stern,

Thank you for the many, many thanks! I was happy to help you out, and it sounds like you’ll be able to pull off your banquet after all. Chilled Basilisk in Lime Vinaigrette sounds pretty fancy. I’ve been eating a lot of soft banana bread lately, and I’m looking for something new to nosh on. (the bread sits in my bag and is only moderately soft by the time I eat it. partially firm.)

You seem to know what you’re doing, and I’d love to trade recipes with you. I have one that your noble might appreciate—a low-calorie honey mustard dipping sauce used for croc fingers. Will you be serving fingers of any sort at the party? (croc, chicken, ogre, etc.) I always say, “it’s not a party until you bring out the fingers!”

If you don’t mind my asking, who is the noble? I’d like to personally wish him or her a happy birthday. (Maybe speak with them about the bathroom situation here in Stormwind.) I could bring a dish or two and join in the fun. I assume there will be the usual prancing, and I know a party game or two. (I assure you, the Brewfest incident is almost always exaggerated.) Of course, I would have Plops, Azeroth’s Slowest Bunny accompany me. He could entertain the royalty with small hops and tasteful scratching. (some nibbling. delightful!)

Will the celebration be at The Blue Recluse? Kind of odd to name the place after a depressed loner and then throw a stylish reception there. Unless you mean the recluse himself is the color blue. Then you’d have the entertainment covered, and probably don’t need Plops to come after all. I’d like to meet the recluse as well! (may just be holding breath for long stretches. Is that part of the act?)

I’m a little surprised your tavern didn’t book Plops on his last tour. We hit up all the usual lounges and really wowed them! (negligible nudity) Perhaps you’d like to book in advance for the upcoming summer tour, “The Plop It Like It’s Hot Eastern Kingdoms Tour”. (Let’s get ploppin’!) Please contact me to request a demo reel.

Bon Appétit!
R. Pebblebottom

Farstrider Lodge, Level 20

Dear Marek Ironheart,

Best. Task. Ever. I’m sorry I didn’t visit your lodge earlier. You mentioned you didn’t do much trade in croc skins and meat, but lemme tell you, there’s an island just west of here that’s crawling with ‘em!

I could barely keep up with them all, they kept coming out of nowhere! I was pretty enraged the whole time, so I was rending a lot. (plenty of blood) Not only did I get your skins, but also more meat than you asked for, so I could try the recipe you gave me. The steaks are a little gamey so I tried deep frying one.

I’d like to offer my new Chicken-Fried Croc Steak Fingers™ to patrons of your lodge. (No chicken or steak) They’ve been selling fairly well near the Thelsamar mailbox. Once you get past the chew, they're delicious. I offer three dipping sauces—honey malt mustard, Rhapsody Malt vinegar, and teriyaki. Can you recommend a dipping sauce for our new Heart Healthy Baked Croc Nuggets™?

Please let me know when I can come by with my good goods. People love ‘em! Free pants with every purchase!

Regards,
R. Pebblebottom