Dear Innkeeper Firebrew,
I’ll be checking in to the Stonefire Tavern with a ridiculous haircut. I’ve always been told your establishment is the finest and caters to those with special needs. (e.g. haircuts)
Please inform the bell staff to do their best to smile politely when they ask to take my bags to my room. (I’m ugly!) I have five bags of varying sizes. Some smaller than the big ones.
Security should be alerted of my appearance and be sure to treat me as a dwarf, not a gnome! I will not be turned away because of this cockamamie hairstyle. It might help if they quietly advised other patrons to look away. (I’m hideous!) A distraction may also be needed as I quietly tippy-toe by.
This is more than a bad hair day. I may look rather disheveled, but have the coin to pay for my room and any refreshments I require. Do you have Hair of the Hare?
I will be traveling with my bunny. My companion’s hair is fine, but not mine. I look forward to unwinding at your inn. Do you have whirlpool baths?
Regards,
P. Pebblebottom
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