What the forge have you done! I came in for a beard trim—some ear hair removal—and you slaughtered me! (A brunette! Do I look like a gnome to you?) I used to be the envy of many passers by. They’d point and say, “That’s some hair!” This new hairstyle is unacceptable. How do you make a living!?
You really botched this job! My usual tidy appearance is now disheveled and common. (Thank you for taking care of the ear hairs. No more rustling!) Now, passers by just pass by. No attention whatsoever. The ladies at the auction house don’t even turn to look at me and then take a few steps back to take it all in. Now they just stare straight-ahead, avoiding eye contact.
I’ve been butchered! I’m going to have to visit a butcher to see if he can fix this mess. I like the new scrunchie, but the rest has to go!
Please consider spending my fifteen silver on a copy of Celebrity Dwarf Hair Today. I want the Magni!
R. Pebblebottom
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