Friday, March 5, 2010

Ironforge, Level 33

Dear Mr. Staghelm,

I’ve recently taken an interest in your people’s culture. So far, my adventures have been based out of Ironforge, but I’m told your tree-house city is wondrous. People tell me they like being in the branches. (Very few complain of slight motion sickness when the wind blows.)

I write with a proposition I’d like to run past you. I would take it up with Ms. Whisperwind, but I’ve heard you have vision that she lacks. (My vision is pretty good, but it’s been a while since a doctor checked me out. Ha ha.) I’m organizing an event to take place in your fair city of Darnassus, “Capital of the rarely-clothed Night Elves.”

I will present “Pebblebottom’s First Annual Semi-to-Very Nude Night Elf Prance Around”! Ever since I saw my first somewhat-clothed feminine night elf (pretty sure it was a woman, curvy and smooth) I’ve been thinking this needs to happen. A guy in the Ironforge auction house said naked night elves are pretty common, so why not have fun while you’re at it? (King Magni would never go for this, it must be Darnassus!)

The event features upwards of seven participants in various states of undress, frolicking in and around your city. (All participants will be night elves. One dwarf.) We will be swimming in your pools and using your mailboxes. We will require vendors to provide water and food as contestants frolic and leap, dance and run, well into the evening.

In addition “Plops, Azeroth’s Slowest Bunny” will perform, providing long and short hops for the revelers to mimic. (No nibbling!) There have been rumors of a large-scale game of “Spin the Empty Vial”, but that will not happen this time. (The Brewfest incident!) We’ll stick to the skipping and undressing, romping and disrobing.

I eagerly await and look forward to filling out the proper forms and paperwork required to make this event happen! Let’s get this prance around off the ground!

R. Pebblebottom

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